A Letter To My Husband 1-4-3 - Janet Fazio

Hi Hon,

It has been nine months to the day since you left us and I still am waiting for you to come home to us. I try to understand why you, like so many others, were so violently taken from us, but I don’t think that anything will ever come close to helping me understand why I will never be able to hold you in my arms again.

Meeting at the water cooler at work thirty-five years ago was the best thing that ever happened to me. It just took one date for us to know that we were meant for each other and six months later we were engaged.

Our families were very happy for us. Your mom, who became a widow at a young age, took care of you alone since you were seven years old. You were a great son and always felt responsible for your mom and she loved you for it. You took her on many family vacations before and after we were married. She adored Ronnie and Robert but, unfortunately, she wasn’t here to love her granddaughter, your princess, Lauren.

You were like another son to my parents. My brother never minded sharing the honor for, to him, you were like a brother. His family, as well as so many of our close friends try to cope with their loss while, at the same time, are a constant support system to me and the children. They try to hide their grief but I see it in their eyes every time they look at me. I thank God for all of them each and every day.

You gave me three beautiful children. They are so special in their own way. They each have a part of you that I will treasure always. They are my strength even though I wish that I could be stronger for them. You truly loved being their dad and never once put your happiness before theirs. Lauren’s new job is just what you would have wanted for her. Robert is still following his dream and, by the way, moving for the fourth time in four years to yet again another apartment! He’ll surely miss your support. Ronnie is settling into being a happily married man.

They all wish that their children would have been able to have the opportunity to feel the love of their grandpa. Lauren and Robert will not have the advantage that Ronnie and Diane had in planning their wedding. Your opinions meant so much to the both of them. We went through with the wedding because we know that that is what you would have wanted us to do. It was a beautiful wedding. By the way, hon, you were right about the bubbles…

They tell me that I have to try and make a new life for myself. I loved the life that I had with you and that is all I will ever want. We will always keep your memory alive.

All My Love Always,
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